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my first manicure...

 holy crap, acrylic nails suck!  I can't do anythingggggg.  DEFINITELY going shorter next time...this is already driving me crazy and it's only day two!


 I had a Rockstar about two hours ago and am now having a fuzzy navel, so excuse me for being in a weird mental state (no, this is in no way typical for me!  Just a strange schedule today)!

Anyway, my new dress came!  So I got to try on the whole shebang, dress, sandals, jewelry, and all.  I am purchasing a sweater to go over it, but since I probably won't be wearing it the whole day, I just count that as an extra.

I can't be happier about the company I went through (I think it's called Modern Bridal Shoppe LLC...based out of FL).  They shipped earlier than they said, it arrived way earlier than expected, and came in a very nice box with tissue and everything, not a wrinkle in sight.  The way they shipped it, I literally could have taken it out of the box, put it on and walked down the aisle.  

I have to get a few inches chopped off the bottom, but I knew that well before I even ordered.  I am going to take it to a clothing designer to have it altered...she'll fit it to my measurements, and maybe design a sash to add to it (I've been browsing etsy, but don't feel like adding an extra hundred onto my bill).

Onto the wedding pron....


The buttons on the back were a surprise, as was the little matching sash/wrap that came in the box.  Thank you Mori Lee for saving my wedding!!!

pretty :)

Come by the hills to the land where life is a song
and stand where the birds fill the air with their joy all day long
where the trees sway in time and even the wind sings in tune
and the cares of tomorrow can wait til this day is done.

-"Come By the Hills"

The Dress Story (Long but sorta funny?)

Dress number one.  I shopped around myself, went to a couture salon with my bridesmaids, and visited a few places with my mom.  One day I decided to pop into a local place by myself because they were having a one-day-only sample sale.  About an hour of some pretty skeezy sales tactics, I actually let myself be convinced that if I didn't buy a dress that day, I would never find another one I wanted.  I had admittedly been drooling over Paloma Blanca for a month or two, but never thought one would be in my price range.  This one was, thanks to the sale.  Soooo I bought it.  Non-returnable.  Almost a grand.

I spent about two days excited, and then tried it on one day and thought, what the hell was I thinking?  I was in love with the fabric of the dress, but that's about it (okay, it also had little buttons down the back, and I like those!).  The shape wasn't what I wanted, the feel wasn't what I wanted.  Plus, it was way more expensive than I had hoped to spend.  Online it went!  I sold it within 24 hours (and got all my money back) and less than a week later was back to being dress-less.

Dress number two.  Another sample sale (I really have learned my lesson to avoid these, I always feel too impulsive!).  I was alone, I was panicked that I wouldn't be able to look for dresses anymore, and I wanted a dress, dammit!  I picked out three or four dresses to try on and headed back to the dressing room.  When I got in there, there was a dress hanging up already, like it was waiting for me.  I tried it on and it fit beautifully.  It was simple, stunning, and earthy...just what I wanted.  The tag?  $29.  Holy crap, I said, I'm buying it even if it's just for fun.  So I set it by my purse and decided to try on the other dresses I'd picked out.  I'll be damned if less than a minute later the salesgirl comes back and says there's been a mistake, she put me in the wrong room and that dress is someone else's.  I thought she was going to have to pry it out of my little bridezilla hands.  So, I continued to try on other dresses, and found one I liked.  Fit.  Gorgeous.  Standing in the pretty lights and the little block in the wedding shop, I felt like a bride.  Called up my mom and told her I was buying it, and I did.

Dress number two sat in the closet for a few months.  I tried it on a bunch of times, looked it over a bunch of times, and eventually brought it to my mom's house for safekeeping.  When she saw me try it on, she exclaimed, "Sarah, you're going to burst out of that thing and break the zipper!"  (Sheath dresses are supposed to be tight, but I suppose I hadn't realized how tight it was).  I showed it to my bridesmaids and one said, "That's very nice" and the other said "Your shoulders look huge".  Not exactly the kind of reaction you're hoping for in your wedding dress.  I grappled with it for a couple of days, but those comments... I felt just awful.  The more I look at the dress, the less I love it.  It's now reached the point where it's just hideous to me; I can scarcely bear to look at it.  I think every day I think of another thing that isn't practical or pretty about it.

So here's the plan.  I have picked out a third dress, a Watters bridesmaid dress that comes in ivory, is the perfect length and measurements that it shouldn't need to be altered, and is the original simple, earthy feel that I wanted in a dress.  It's only $200 and will be here a month before the wedding, so plenty of time to get anything fixed if it needs it.  I have it bookmarked so I can order it today if I need to.

Goodwill is having their giganto bridal sale starting in about half an hour.  I'm going to be there when the doors open, run through, see if anything strikes my fancy for cheaper than the Watters dress.  If not, I'll order the Watters.


 FMIL called and wants FH and our daughter to visit.  The week AFTER I have time off, of course.  But she took the days off without even asking us if the dates were okay.  And just assumed it would be fine.

Oh wait, she took days off because she'd been asking FH to make plans for months and he's been putting it off.  So she decided for him.

I don't know who to be more angry at!

I am just pissed.  I am going to be in deep shit if I have to take that many days off the week after we already have a break.  But quite honestly I hate the idea of FH traveling alone with my baby; I always feel like she is second priority to him... he will leave to go out with his friends and FMIL will have to take care of her, and um, sorry to say but she's not the greatest at it.  I KNOW she'll survive and be fine and I know nothing dangerous or anything happens to her, but I also know that she is in better hands with me.  But I don't want to go with (FH will be busy doing other stuff most of the time anyway, and I'll be in shitty Detroit by myself or worse, with FFIL), and I don't even know if I will be able to go.  If I do go, I'll be bored out of my mind, we'll have spent an extra $300 that we cannot afford to spend right now, and I'll have wasted precious time I could be spending, I don't know, wedding planning or marathon training or working.  If I don't go, I look like a meanie who doesn't want to spend time with FH's family, and I have no control over how my daughter is cared for during those days.

I don't know what to do... this is totally an I-am-going-to-lose-no-matter-what-I-do situation.  FUCKKK.


 hells yeah, my mom found napkins on clearance at target for $1.50/ 4 pack!  That's WAY cheaper than renting or even buying the fabric to make them ourselves, and they're already sewn and pressed.  YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Now if only I could just find a good deal on glassware...

Writer's Block: Marital license

Do you think a marriage license should have a renewal or expiration date, just like a driver's license?

Um, I'm pretty sure people don't know what a marriage license is--it's only the government's permission to get married; it has nothing to do with actually staying married.  So once the wedding happens, the license is no longer needed.  So as for it having an expiration date... sure it should have an expiration date!  You just apply for it when the wedding is imminent, simple as that.  I don't see the big deal.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

 A few things have fallen into place recently:
  • FMIL purchased her dress (and it's so cute!  I was expecting a pants suit hahah)
  • FH found a suit (!!!!!!).  He needed one for a grad school interview and as it turns out, it'll work great for the wedding too.  He got it for $128!  Since it was so cheap he splurged on a $65 shirt, but then we saved moola again because the sales guy tossed in a tie for free.
  • I lined up a shuttle service so that none of our guests will have to drive the day of the wedding.  I am sooooo against drunk driving even if it's just for a few blocks (which is a lot of people's excuse in these parts) so I wanted to make sure no one feels like they don't have a choice.  We're only serving wine and beer but knowing my friends they'll still manage to get drunk, so I'm not taking chances.
  • Decided on table set up for the reception:  we'll do a long table with me and FH, our daughter, my parents and his, and both our grandparents, as well as our attendants (people will be seated on both sides of the table, so it sounds like more people than it will be).  I hate the idea of sitting in front of everyone so they can watch us eat, haha, so we will just stand to make our speeches and people will be able to see us just fine.  Also, I decided on bud vases along the tables, with pinecones scattered along the centers of them, and in place of chargers or placemats we are going to have thin slices of log from trees in my parents' yard (don't worry, the trees were dead anyway).  The favors and napkins and silverware will be on the table when people come in, that way they only have to grab a plate when they go up to the buffet.
  • Made the final decisions on flowers and hair
  • Solidified salon appts for myself, the moms, and bridesmaids
  • Talked to the girl I asked to be my personal attendant and she's going to do it

Wedding Survey (repost from a friend)

1.  Describe your theme in three words:  eclectic vegan eco-chic?  
2. Name two things you're doing that demonstrate your theme:  umm, kind of everything?  We're very earthy people so we've created the entire event to intentionally portray US... our views, our passions, and so forth.  So our personalities and lifestyles are woven throughout every detail.  But... I suppose the two biggest things would be 1) our ceremony venue...what says "eco" better than getting married in the middle of the forest on part of the North Country Trail?  and 2) the tree-planting we are doing as part of our ceremony, in exchange of the typical unity candle and what have you.
3. Color scheme: The main colors are chocolate and pale yellow, with accents of a soft green (like lime but more calming) and pale blue.  Chocolate for earth/soil, yellow for sunshine, green for the trees and blue for water and sky :)
4. What do you want people to remember most about your wedding:  Since everyone's traveling, I hope they remember it as a fun trip where they got to experience a new place.  But about the wedding itself, I hope they take away the sense of community that we are trying to impart--that our love and our life together is not just the work of the two of us, but of everyone we've met and been touched by, everyone who taught us how to love by loving us.  If that makes sense.
5.  What wedding traditions are you doing: a ring exchange, your typical ceremony-followed-by-a-dinner-followed-by-a-dance, my dad is walking me down the aisle, we are having bridesmaids and groomsmen, we are having a bachelor/ette party, my MOH is throwing me a shower... I'm sure there are some I am forgetting.  Some of the stuff we wanted to do, some of the stuff we are doing because everyone is expecting us to, haha.  Not that we mind--we didn't cave about the stuff we care about.
6. What wedding traditions are you skipping: no dollar dance, no bouquet tossing, no garter throwing, no unity candle, no religious ceremony, no saving myself for my wedding night (HAHA), no registering for fine china.
7.  What kind of dessert are you having: mango cardamom spice cake, strawberry almond cake, and coconut cream cake.
8. What is one thing you swore you'd never do for your wedding that you are doing: it took me a minute to figure out this question, haha... umm, I guess the big thing is the dress.  I set out with a solid idea that I wanted a plain. cotton. dress.  NOT white.  NOT shiny.  NOT strapless.  NOT frilly.  NO train.  NO ruffles or beads or sparkles or any of that.  I wanted a vine crown with my hair down and no jewelry.  I wanted to be barefoot.  And what did I do?  I got an off-white dress covered in beading with a lace train and some jewelry with HELLA bling.  On a non-superficial level... I wanted to walk down the aisle myself.  I had envisioned this for months--walking down the aisle confidently and proudly alone.  But I didn't know how much my dad wanted to walk me down the aisle... so in his interest I decided to let him.  I think it's really sweet that it means so much to him, so I am more than happy to oblige.
9.  Besides getting married, what one thing are you looking forward to most about your wedding:  Looking out and seeing how many people are bawling their eyes out at my kickass ceremony that I wrote :P  Wedding guests beware, bring tissue!
10. What are you most worried about:  I am totally laidback about this whole thing- I am just excited and happy about it, and I had no more expectations than heading over to the courthouse and grabbing ice cream afterward, so everything at this point is just a bonus.  But people are expecting me to freak out, expecting me to be worried...and it is just annoying to try and convince people that I am really not.  Their asking me if I am worried is making me more worried, if that makes sense.  

I guess if I had to pick one fear, it's that I will take the heartfelt and sweet route for my vows, and FH will take the silly-anecdotal route.  He has an odd way of being romantic, so people might not get it.  And he isn't the type to say anything more aww-worthy than I love you.  Not that that matters, but I dunno, I guess it'd be a little embarrassing to me if here I am making people tear up and being all poetic, and then he's just like, heehee, I love you!  lol.  But I would rather risk that our vows are completely different than miss being able to surprise him... so maybe he'll surprise me, too :)